Hey, we’re back! You know, like We’re Back: A Dinosaur’s Story. It’s exactly like that, because we’re a couple of freakin’ dinosaurs that have no place in the modern era. Anyway, after an experiment in video-podcasting the Gizmos, and then straight-up not doing them last year, here’s a return to form. If you’d like to hear us discuss this year’s categories, including reading some of the below text out loud for some reason, head over here for the Golden Gizmos podcast (and here for the Gremmies!). Now, with the re-introduction out of the way, it’s time… For the TWENTY-NINETEEN GOLDEN GIZMOS! YEEEEEEEEEHAW!!! George and I have compiled separate lists this year, so this is going to be A Lot, especially since George apparently thought he needed to write an entire damn page for every entry. Strap in.
NOTE: Games released in November or December of this year are eligible for next year’s Gizmos. This includes titles such as Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, MechWarrior 5, and… I think that’s it, really, we played everything else.
GAME OF THE YEAR 2019
Larry’s Top Five:
- DEVIL MAY CRY 5
- Control
- Disco Elysium
- Hypnospace Outlaw
- Death Stranding
They did it. Those maniacs did it. They brought back the Devil May Cry franchise, long thought dead after DMC4’s tumultuous development (and then buried via the execrable DmC) and the result is the best entry yet. Sure, the V parts aren’t great, but that’s a minor quibble in what is otherwise an excellent example of how to make a Video Game-Ass Video Game in 2019. It does not aspire to be a movie, it does not bore you with exposition and worldbuilding and capital-L Lore. It wants you to get out there and slice up some bug-demons, and Sparda bless it for that.
Control, meanwhile, does lean more on the story, but it’s there for you to find and piece together. There’s very little handholding when it comes to figuring out what’s going on, and almost everything is told via memos you can find strewn around the Oldest House. That’s still secondary to the psycho-kinetic action, and Remedy prove once again that they’re the masters of the third-person shooter. Their previous game, Quantum Break, played well, but was dragged down by its narrative structure, as the “TV episodes” that bookended every chapter killed all momentum. It’s not too surprising, then, that Remedy let the plot take a backseat to what they do best: shooting and exploding things.
Disco Elysium is what happens when a bunch of weirdos try to make a police procedural version of Planescape: Torment by way of David Lynch. The result is hilarious, terrifying, bizarre, and utterly enthralling. Just creating your character can be daunting, as you’re greeted with a byzantine mess of various stats, but soon everything will make sense. Well, as much sense as anything makes in this game.
There will be plenty of words typed about Hypnospace Outlaw later.
We’ve talked enough about Death Stranding. Please refer to our Spoilercast. In short, Kojima made a walking simulator fun. That’s gotta be worth something, right? — Larry Davis
George’s Top Ten, Even Though I Said To Do A Top Five:
- DEVIL MAY CRY 5
- Resident Evil 2 (2019)
- Anno 1800
- Kingdom Hearts III
- The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
- Death Stranding
- Tetris 99
- Mortal Kombat 11
- Super Mario Maker 2
- Senran Kagura Burst Re:Newal
2019 was a significant year in gaming for me, and not necessarily because it was stacked with good releases (though there were quite a few!) At the time of this writing, I have completed well over a hundred games since January. Even though many of these were shorter experiences, games that could be completed in a couple of hours, I spent a frankly unhealthy amount of time in front of my TV, all in pursuit of a singular goal. I made a list, you see, like any man on a mission would; and on it was 250 retro video games. Revered titles I until now only had an osmotic relationship with, classics I hadn’t yet finished, and cherished games in dire need of a replay. While this accounted for the bulk of my gaming diet in 2019, this year’s new releases had an odd synchronicity…
This year was rotten with remakes and long awaited sequels, and I’m pretty cool with that. Just prior to it being announced, I replayed and finished Link’s Awakening. Not only does the original still hold up, but the remake – despite some unusual technical shortcomings and a steep price tag – was every bit as fun to play through. Resident Evil 2 was one of the few RE games that I actually missed out on. Having played it last October for the first time, I was pretty excited to see how the remake stacked up. I’m pleased to say that I like it far more than the PSX original, in much the same way I prefer the Gamecube “REmake” over its predecessor.
On the sequel front, we have Anno 1800, which is quite possibly the best entry in the long running PC city building sim, following some weak sequels that had pushed me away from the franchise. 1800 eagerly exploits the nostalgia I have for Anno 1602, while stripping away some of Anno’s obtuse nature, providing an excellent tutorial in the form of a story mode. For once, I feel like I actually understand what I’m doing in an Anno game, without it sacrificing in its depth.
Kingdom Hearts III also happened this year, finally providing fans some sense of resolution to its long, winding, convoluted story. I’m not sure whether I’m proud or disturbed by the fact that I completed The Story Thus Far… this year. There’s a lot of game spread out between those two discs, and a hell of a lot more story. I can’t say I fully understand it all, or like it for that matter, but it’s… interesting. And compelling enough that I was actually pretty excited to see how it all concluded. I’m happy to say that I felt satisfied by Kingdom Hearts III’s conclusion, even if the game meandered a bit too much in its overstuffed worlds.
And so our long walk to my game of the year finally ends. Similar to Kingdom Hearts, I until now only had a passing familiarity with Devil May Cry. I certainly knew a lot of people who were into it, enough to know how badly they wanted a sequel, or indeed some sense of resolution to the story. Personally, I had zero investment outside of enjoying other stylish action games, but when that reveal trailer for Devil May Cry 5 was shown for the first time, I knew it was something that really deserved my attention.
I played through every Devil May Cry (except for the second, which I was assured multiple times from multiple sources was hot trash) in preparation for 5, and it was a revelatory experience. Sure, I had played plenty of games like these, but I understood that DMC was really the first. Seeing how that gameplay evolved over the series, and how it was refined, gave me a much better appreciation not just for the series, but the genre as a whole. I finally got it, why people wanted another Devil May Cry so badly. Yes, your Bayonetta’s and Vanquished’s are excellent, but Devil May Cry really is the genre at its most genuine.
Devil May Cry 5 sticks to its roots in every way that matters, while expanding upon what game before in interesting ways. Combat variety has long been a strong suit of the series, and 5 not only offers up the most, but arguably does the best with what it gives you. The campaign is split between Nero, Dante, and newcomer V, each one having their own distinct quirks that make you totally reconsider how to approach enemies. In most games that force me to play as multiple characters with their own unique playstyles, I inevitably find one that I dislike. That is not the case in DMC5. The game is excellently paced, keeping the player bounding between these characters in just the right amount to keep gameplay feeling fresh.
The aesthetics of DMC5 are equally superb. The acrobatics, the pounding music, the flashing rankings building upon themselves, all feel empowering in a way that is familiar, but punctuated by the strength of modern hardware. It’s that reverence for what came before, its respect for what worked, and an excellent vision on how to push those qualities ahead that makes Devil May Cry 5 such a great game. Some would say, it’s the greatest game of 2019. — George Brundle
Best Game Under $30
George’s Pick: Tetris 99
It feels like a bit of a cheat to name Tetris 99 as my Best Under 30, considering it’s free. On the other hand, you need a Switch Online membership to play, and a full year of the service will only run you 20 dollars, so teeeeechnically you’ll need to throw down something. Were there better games that launched under a 30 dollar price tag this year? Probably! Conveniently, I didn’t really play many of them. — George Brundle
Larry’s Top 3:
- HYPNOSPACE OUTLAW
- Outer Wilds
- Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Hypnospace Outlaw is a game where you are an Internet Cop, browsing horrifically garish web pages for copyright infringement, cyber-bullying, and so on. Or you can just go see what some guy’s weird uncle has to say about the fat cats in Washington, and then download an ice cream jingle. You can also decorate your desktop with sick skull gifs. If any of this is appealing to you, go play Hypnospace Outlaw now — within 30 minutes of playing it, I had laughed out loud multiple times. I think the last game that did that was Jazzpunk, itself a masterpiece. — Larry Davis
Best Writing:
Larry’s Top 3:
- DISCO ELYSIUM
- Hypnospace Outlaw
- Control
Disco Elysium is a game where your tie can talk to you and tell you to do drugs. — Larry Davis
George’s Pick He Later Recanted:
Death Stranding????
I mean, it certainly has the most writing, for better or worse. The fact of the matter is, I didn’t play Control in time for GOTY deliberations, though I suspect if I had that this award would be going to it rather than Kojima’s driest, dullest, and most tepid story to date. So why is it taking home the award for Best Writing?
Simply put: this was kind of a bad year for stories in games. The only other game I’ve played that really leaned into its narrative was Kingdom Hearts III, and since this reward is for accomplishment in writing, I absolutely refuse to give it to that game.
Make no mistake, Death Stranding is here by virtue of that fact alone. It’s a story wrought with heavy-handed exposition, a staple of Kojima’s writing that we often forgive due to the quirky characters delivering it. Unfortunately, every miserable soul in Death Stranding is a one dimensional bore, right down to the fact that they’re each named after the single unflinching trait that defines them. Kojima has played with his themes, dived deep in ways that make you think he might actually have something to say. Not so in Death Stranding, which never dives any deeper than surface level.
I should have played Control, this is on me. I can feel the anger billowing off Larry like steam as I write this. — George Brundle
[NOTE: During recording of the Golden Gizmos podcast, George recanted this pick and decided to instead agree that Disco Elysium was the winner solely based on screenshots I had sent him, such as the one above. This text is included for archival purposes only, and Disco Elysium is the unanimous winner as a result. — Larry]
Best Graphics:
Larry’s Top 3:
- CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE
- Devil May Cry 5
- Control
“War crimes never looked so good!” I exclaim, as I help Captain Price do some Zero Dark Thirty shit, knee-deep in imperialist propaganda. — Larry Davis
George’s Pick:
Death Stranding
I feel a lot more confident in giving Death Stranding the award for Best Graphics. Death Stranding makes use of the Decima engine, previously used in Horizon: Zero Dawn, and Until Dawn, both excellent looking games.
Seeing as terrain is such a focal point of Death Stranding’s mechanical design, so too does it need to be in its visuals, and Kojima Productions is clearly getting the most out of Decima. Wet patches of mud, flowing rivers, caverns and caves, rust and decay are rendered in such clarity that I found it very easy to imagine what it must feel like in its depiction of a ruined America. Considering its landscape doesn’t even remotely resemble America, that’s an impressive feat.
There was more than a few times where I stopped and took a moment to drink in the landscape, and the game provides you quite a few overlooks to really get a sense of just how far reaching it really is. When visiting these same vantage points after constructing roads and bridges, you get a great sense of all the hard work you and your fellow Sams have put into restoring the country. There’s also an unnatural dreamlike quality to it all when you see how highways rise into the air, surrounded by floating rubble and twisting in odd directions.
The capture work in Death Stranding is just as impressive. If this generation of gaming has pushed graphics forward in one truly impactful way, it’s been in facial capture. Sure, some of the models are just a bit off (Del Toro in particular), but other actors like Norman Reedus and Mads Mikkelsen are so well represented, you might as well be watching an FMV (in fact it’s surprising to me this isn’t the route they took with Cliff’s flashbacks every time you jack into BB.)
Plus, Death Stranding has the most lovingly rendered cans of Monster Energy I’ve seen in my entire life, and I think that’s enough alone to solidify it as 2019’s greatest graphical powerhouse. — George Brundle
Best Multiplayer:
George’s Pick:
Tetris 99
2019 was not a particularly strong year for me when it comes to multiplayer gaming. Sure, Death Stranding deserves an honorable mention for having the most welcome and helpful form of asynchronous multiplayer I’ve seen yet. On the other side of the coin, Apex Legends is a solid contender that I just didn’t spend as much time in as I would have liked to, and that I’m afraid I’m just not very good at.
What really made an impact on me, though, was Tetris 99’s unconventional marriage between the classic puzzle game and Battle Royale multiplayer. You have your well and your tetrominoes, like always, but you’re also in competition with 98 other players. Tapping the right analog stick will let you change targets, and the more lines you clear, the more junk you will send to their wells. Of course, you have to deal with junk being sent over to yours, and as the game presses on, not only will players have earned badges that let them send even more trash to you, but there will be so few in competition that everyone is targeting each other, desperately trying to manage the deluge of garbage pieces they now have to deal with. For even the most skilled Tetris players, the end game of Tetris 99 can be a desperate struggle to survive.
Those times that I have, that I’ve managed to come out on top, have been more enriching than any other victory I’ve had in a multiplayer game this year. Even moreso when turning the tables on an especially vicious opponent.
There has long been a competitive side to Tetris, but Tetris 99 offers my favorite spin on that yet. It’s an easy call for my best multiplayer game of 2019. — George Brundle
Larry’s Top 3:
- CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE
- World War Z
- Tetris 99
They made a good Call of Duty again! Sure, it has the same problems it’s always had, like other players spawning behind you and immediately shooting you in the back, but progression, perks, killstreaks, and all that jazz have been reverted back to how they were in the good ol’ days. No dumbass character powers here, folks. — Larry Davis
Best New Character:
Larry’s Top 3:
- AHTI from Control
- Mads Mikkelsen from Death Stranding
- Measurehead from Disco Elysium
Who is Ahti? Hell if I know. He’s the janitor of the Oldest House (a dimensional gateway converted into an office building) and he also might be an elder god? Hard to say. He has a great accent, though, and he’s very dedicated to his job. We could all be a bit more like Ahti, if you ask me. — Larry Davis
George’s Pick:
Gooigi
It is important to note that while Gooigi is modeled off of Luigi, a gaming icon, he could not be more distinct.
Gooigi is, after all, a lifeless thing. A mere shell made in the image of our protagonist. Mortally unbound, Gooigi does not need to make the same moral considerations, as he fears not the afterlife. The Polgergust is, at best, a temporary prison from which he is unleashed often by his other half, who is all too willing to leverage his tulpa’s destructive capabilities against those who threaten his family. Luigi understands that Gooigi is incapable of creation, only destruction. Thus, he is a perfect vessel, a means by which Luigi can commit atrocities while keeping his hands “clean.”
Appropriately, unlife has given Gooigi his one weakness: water. The substance from which all life sprang, and that without, no life can be sustained.
Gooigi is the deepest character Mario has ever had. — George Brundle
Best Soundtrack:
Larry’s Top 3:
- OUTER WILDS
- Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
- Control
While I liked a lot of things about Outer Wilds, its soundtrack was the biggest standout. A mix of melancholy instrumentals are mostly responsible for giving the game its unique vibe, and when you see how they all come together in the end, it’s truly special. — Larry Davis
George’s Pick:
Devil May Cry 5
2019 wasn’t just a challenging year for writing in video games, it was an exceptionally forgettable one when it came to music, with only two soundtracks really sticking out in my mind, and boy they could not be more opposite from one another.
Death Stranding is absolutely rotten with songs by Low Roar, the musical equivalent to an Ambien overdose. Yes, it’s very fitting during those long treks through snow tipped mountains, with nothing but your Bridge Baby and cargo to keep you company, but damn if I don’t say “god, not another Low Roar song” every time one kicks in.
Devil May Cry, on the other hand, has the track Devil Trigger, which is the musical equivalent of doing speedballs in a dimly lit bathroom during an EDM concert (if we’re keeping with the analogy.) Like, strictlys speaking, it’s not good, but it’s gooooood. And much like the rest of Devil May Cry, it keeps the gaudy and energetic attitude of the original games alive. — George Brundle
Best Re-Make/Re-Model:
George’s Pick:
[NOTE: George apparently missed this category in the list I sent him, but he agreed with my pick, because honestly, how could you not? — Larry]
Larry’s Top 3:
- RESIDENT EVIL 2
- Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled
- Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story (3DS)
Capcom had a hell of a year (what? Mega Man 11? No idea what you’re talking about.) and REmake 2 was a huge part of it. I didn’t expect it to be as good as it was, but I was very happy to be surprised. — Larry Davis
Most Moxie:
Larry’s Top 3:
- HYPNOSPACE OUTLAW
- Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
- ToeJam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Leave it to the creators of bizarre nightmare clown adventure game Dropsy to make a 90s Geocities simulator. It’s such a great idea that it makes you wonder why nobody else has attempted it, and when playing Hypnospace Outlaw, that becomes clear: it would drive anyone creating it insane. I’m guessing that’s exactly what happened to them, because otherwise the fact that this is a product available for anyone to purchase is completely inexplicable. — Larry Davis
George’s Pick:
Blazing Chrome
Hey, remember Contra: The Alien Wars? What about Contra: Hard Corps? Developer JoyMasher does, and so do I.
Blazing Chrome is essentially one huge send up to Contra, in a way Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon was to NES era Castlevania. Except also not, because that was made my someone who has actually worked on Castlevania games, but, look, that’s not important. Because Blazing Chrome absolutely nails the aesthetics and energy of its inspirations. It checks just about every box it needs to. Fast paced action, stylish levels, large crazy looking bosses, a pounding soundtrack…
Sadly, it also gets some things wrong. Weapon variety (probably the defining feature of Contra) is sorely lacking. The game is also remarkably short, being far less substantive than the 16-bit Contras. This latter issue is perhaps more understandable considering the small team involved, but the former is such a severe blemish that Blazing Chrome sadly didn’t break my top ten. But I still appreciate the hell out of its style. — George Brundle
Best Troy Baker:
George’s Pick:
Higgs – Death Stranding
Admittedly, I did not encounter much Troy Baker this year. That isn’t say he wasn’t getting work, I’m sure he chewed the hell out of a lot of digital scenery in 2019. But his bite marks are all over Death Stranding. Truth be told, Higgs isn’t a particularly great Kojima villain, nor is it a stand out role for Baker, but he is a bright more on an otherwise dreary game full of non-characters who are notably not played by Troy Baker.
So whenever Higgs shows up, it breathes a little life into things. Life that was breathed into him by Troy Baker, without whom Higgs just wouldn’t be the same. Thanks, Troy. — George Brundle
Larry’s Top 3:
- HIGGS from Death Stranding
- Theron Shan in The Old Republic: Onslaught
- Additional Voices in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
Credit where credit’s due: though omnipresent for a long time, Troy Baker is a pretty good voice actor, and this year he managed to make a ridiculous dumbass one of Death Stranding’s best characters. The character of Theron Shan also came back in the newest expansion of Star Wars: The Old Republic, which is still a thing you can play, and he did a grunt or something in Call of Duty, I dunno.
Hex in John Wick Hex is not on this list because he sucked in it. It was Troy Baker doing a Southern accent with cotton balls in his cheeks. Terrible. — Larry Davis
Well, that’s it. Jeez. If you made it all the way down here, congrats. Also, what’s wrong with you?